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Uploaded: Thursday, October 22, 2009, 10:36 AM
Gay youth finding their voice
Local teens seek solidarity, and allies, with the help of CHAC's Outlet program
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by Kelsey Mesher
Mountain View Voice Staff
Photo
 | On a rainy Monday evening, a handful of students wait in a well-lit room on Church Street, eating pizza and chatting.
"My Facebook status is, 'Going to see all my besties!'" says a girl with long blond hair.
They are a typical group of teens — their conversations bounce between who's dating whom, why they're annoyed with their parents, and the food at Taco Bell. Some are outgoing and loud, others sweet and thoughtful.
The students who attend the weekly Outlet group meetings at the Community Health Awareness Council, or CHAC, in Mountain View have one more thing in common: They all identify as being a part of the "LGBTQQ community" — lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning.
This is a poignant time for gays in California, as nearly a year has passed since voters approved Proposition 8, overturning a state Supreme Court decision allowing same-sex couples to marry. Earlier this month, many tens of thousands of protesters — some reports put the number at 150,000 — marched in Washington, D.C. in the largest demonstration for gay rights in a decade.
Here at home, only days before the national march, students in Mountain View High School's Gay-Straight Alliance, or GSA, walked through the homecoming parade, carrying a large rainbow sign and smiling and waving to friends. They later described their walk as a celebration of solidarity.
"I'm not really into the whole advocacy thing," said Jessica Tatarsky, the GSA president and a junior at Mountain View High. "For me it's not as important as just finding community."
"Freshman year I came out to my family and friends, and I decided I needed a place for support," she said. After only a year in the group, she stepped up as vice president, and now she leads her peers, both gay and straight, in organizing activities throughout the year.
For example, Thursday, Oct. 22 is "Ally Pledge Day," where fellow students sign posters displayed around the campus. The signatures represent allies for the gay community, and come with a promise that students will intervene if they hear an anti-gay slur. The event coincided with Tatarsky's 16th birthday.
The next day, she said, the group would be celebrating their own "Coming Out Day" (the national Coming Out Day took place on a Sunday earlier this month). She said they were encouraging teachers to come out, either as homosexual or as an ally, and for students to come out too, if they wanted.
Young activist
Tatarsky has become a leader for younger students, including freshman Anna Livia Chen, 14, who does consider herself an activist.
Chen came out to her family and friends about a year ago. After Prop. 8 was passed, she and some friends organized a silent protest at Graham Middle School, with students wearing black to represent the "death of equality." After that she lead an effort to start a GSA club there, but met resistance from school administrators because they were afraid of bullying, Chen said.
Though an official group never got going, Chen said she thought her efforts did make some impact.
"One of the important things it did was it started to bring up the issue," she said, adding that it's comforting today to see teachers showing solidarity by displaying stickers or signs in their classrooms.
"You don't see any of that in middle school," she said. "It's like in the middle school environment people don't know that exists except things like, 'That's so gay' or 'You're such a fag.'"
"I never felt like someone was going to come beat me up in middle school," she added, "but it's nice to have other people you know are gay and are out in high school and you know are allies."
Chen, who also plays clarinet in the marching band and serves on the Mountain View Youth Advisory Committee, hopes this is just the beginning of her advocacy work. Her next plan is to start a National Marriage Boycott branch at school.
An open city
"Mountain View is a fairly open, accepting area for LGBT youth and adults," said Eileen Ross, director of CHAC's focused youth group, Outlet, in an interview with the Voice earlier this month. "There's still just a lot of misinformation and stereotypes that end up being harmful to the youth and to the community."
Of the students, teachers and community leaders the Voice talked to, it was generally agreed that though there isn't rampant homophobia in the area, there is a general lack of sensitivity and understanding for gay issues.
"There's a lot of people not being aware," Tatarsky said. "Really macho guys call their friends 'faggot.' ... But they don't really get it and I don't think they're really homophobic, they just don't know that it's wrong."
"Sometimes when I'm walking through the
quad I'll hear something and I'll always make it a point to stop even when I don't know them," said Heather Boyle, a GSA adviser and health teacher at Mountain View High. She said the group is considering doing a campaign this year called "Think B4 You Speak."
Ross said there is a "complacency" to gay issues in the area, perhaps because of its vicinity to San Francisco and the strong sense of pride that comes out of that city.
There's an "everything's fine" attitude, she said, but "You have to talk about homophobia. People don't like going there so we're still not getting to the root."
Ross said her group does educational programming in many schools, though more conservative areas, like Los Altos, have not been welcoming.
Outlet at the hub
One of the central resources for LGBTQQ youth in the area is the Outlet program, which runs weekly meetings and provides counseling services to parents and youth.
The meetings are meant to provide a safe place for Peninsula youth to talk about their thoughts without judgment. Though some Outlet programming is welcoming of both gay and straight youth, the meetings are reserved only for those who identify as LGBTQQ.
The meetings' organizers take pains to be sensitive in ways other youth groups are not. For example, during check in, students are asked to specify their "PNP" — preferred gender pronoun.
While discussion focuses mainly on everyday teen stuff (What's your costume for the Halloween dance?), the topics can change in a heartbeat to something more serious.
"I came out to my dad last week," said one dark-haired girl, a junior at an area high school, to the group. "He was OK with it, surprisingly."
A younger blond boy talked about how a discussion in theology class at his school turned very personal — a classmate was suggesting that a gay person could turn straight if they wanted to.
"It was bad," he said.
Ross estimates that around 40 students are participating in the Outlet program in some way at a given time. Though there are students who are very comfortable attending Outlet sessions, she said, others don't feel like they need it.
But maybe, Ross said, "they don't know how good support can be."Are you receiving Express, our free daily e-mail edition? See a sample and sign-up for Express.
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Posted by Joyce Rogers, a resident of another community, on Oct 22, 2009 at 2:14 pm These young people restore a little hope in this old (OK, 48) lesbian. When I was a student at Los Altos High School, we didn't dare be true to ourselves, or with anyone else, about who we were. One of the scariest moments I ever experienced as a Los Altos High student in the mid-1970s was coming to school one morning and finding "LEZ" etched deep into the paint on my girlfriend's locker. We were sure no one knew. We were terrified. I stayed out of the girls' restrooms for a long time after that, afraid that I was going to be jumped and beaten, or worse -- by whom, I didn't know.
How things have changed. And thank goodness for that.
I certainly hope these youths can pull it together as my generation, and the generation before mine, has not -- especially in the wake of Prop 8, which has left many of us exhausted and still reeling with disbelief that fully half our "neighbors" could be so blind, bigoted, and downright cruel.
Yes, "resistance" is the standing order in Los Altos (and cowardice; my wife's No On 8 bumper sticker was stolen off her car again this week; if our "enemies" had any guts, they would confront us directly -- they certainly know where we live -- but bullies are generally cowards).
Witness the circus surrounding the LAHS GSA's attempt several years ago to have a Pride Day proclamation issued by the Los Altos City Council. The Council went as far as toying with a violation of the Brown Act to prevent the students from even _requesting_ the proclamation. (The ACLU had to step in. And still, the students never got their proclamation.)
In short, it's been an uphill climb here ever since the nouveau riche moved in and turned this once liberal, once mostly first-generation immigrant town into an island of bigotry in the Bay Area. There are a few LGBTs still here and still fighting the machine, but the smart ones left long ago -- at least by the time the Prop 22 yard signs started popping up.
Best wishes to you, Mountain View youth. Keep fighting, and never be silent. And don't _ever_ let Mountain View turn into Los Altos.
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Posted by Wo'O Ideafarm, a resident of another community, on Oct 23, 2009 at 6:07 am Joyce, I am your opponent in this, but not your enemy. In my opinion, the objective of parenting is to form girls into good, strong women, and to form boys into good, strong men. Sexual intimacy between two females, or between two males, is not wholesome; it is a perversion.
Does society have the right to define perversion and then suppress it? I think so. The right of the community to define and suppress the spread of perversion trumps the right of the individual to openly practice his or her perversion, especially in venues such as grade schools.
In Mountain View, we need to have a frank and open conversation about what is, and what is not, sexual perversion. Then we need to have a conversation about keeping perversion out of the schools, so that the children can form properly into good, strong men and women.
Lest you take offense at me calling you a pervert, I will add that by my own definition I am also a pervert, as are most everyone. My definition of wholesome sexuality rules out everything except natural male-female coupling. It even rules out all forms of birth control other than the rythm method.
So, from one pervert to another, leave those kids alone! And come, eat with us!
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Posted by Res, a resident of the Whisman Station neighborhood, on Oct 23, 2009 at 10:38 am Looks like the idea farm is growing weeds. I give a standing ovation to these students for being proud of who they are and standing up for equal rights. No government should ever be able to dictate who is allowed to fall in love with whom. I am not a member of the LGBT community but I support them 100%. I think its time all fair minded people support this community and help them push our government into obeying its own Constitution.
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Posted by HP, a resident of the Monta Loma neighborhood, on Oct 23, 2009 at 11:01 am Now I understand what the 'idea farm' really stands for - blind prejudice and lack of ideas. 'Bravo' to the gay students for their strength of character.
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Posted by Old Ben, a resident of the Shoreline West neighborhood, on Oct 23, 2009 at 11:39 am These kids are brave and engaged with society in a productive way. This is a very good thing. That "idea farm" guy might want to put a picture of Anita Bryant on his rolling billboard just to let everybody know where he really stands.
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Posted by kanank, a resident of the Shoreline West neighborhood, on Oct 23, 2009 at 2:21 pm I am all for equal rights and I commend these kids' courage in going out and making a statement like this. But I would rather see these kids focus more on education and other social issues that our society faces like poverty,war,etc...
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Posted by Robin - MVHS mom, a resident of the Martens-Carmelita neighborhood, on Oct 23, 2009 at 3:23 pm Posted by kanank, a resident of the Shoreline West neighborhood, 34 minutes ago
I am all for equal rights and I commend these kids' courage in going out and making a statement like this. But I would rather see these kids focus more on education and other social issues that our society faces like poverty,war,etc...
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kanank, please rest assured that yes indeed these kids are focused on education. One of the students quoted in the article had a 4.0 throughout middle school, was valedictorian, and is now taking honors classes at MVHS. I have no idea what her activities are in the areas of poverty and war but am sure she has well-thought out opinions about those concerns as well.
Not to jump in your face, kanank, just a gentle reminder to please not assume that the featured students are focused on LGBTQQ issues to the exclusion of everything else. There are countless worthwhile social causes to choose from! I admire any teenager who can endure the bombardment of bad news about about global warming, unemployment, contaminated foods, flu pandemic, "etc etc etc"....yet still have hope for their future and a belief that they can have a positive impact on even one of the many challenges in the world.
I look forward to more stories in the Voice about people who act on their beliefs and strive to make the world a better place for everyone.
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Posted by John_in_Oz, a resident of another community, on Oct 23, 2009 at 7:54 pm The plan to define and suppress perversion in grade school had better start with the kinky things Ken and Barbie dolls are doing to each other.
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Posted by Wo'O Ideafarm, a resident of another community, on Oct 24, 2009 at 5:55 am This topic contains two distinct issues.
(1) CIVIL RIGHTS: Liberty and Justice as applied to minors. In our society, minors enjoy less liberty than adults; they are subject to control by their parents and by the community. This reflects the basic fact of life that they are forming into adults, and that formation is determined by the ideas and activities that they are exposed to.
(1) THOUGHT STEERING: We are programmable creatures, and minors are essentially in the process of "being programmed" by the ideas and activities that they are exposed to. Do the adults of a community have the right to control that programming process? Which ideas and activities, if any, should be censored so that the minors can form properly as good, strong men and women?
IMO, the notion that some people are born queer is an ounce of truth wrapped in a pound of predatory intent. It is true that hormonal differences exist and that, rarely, even chromosomal differences exist. (Some individuals are neither male nor female.) But the more important truth is that every male is capable of developing a sexual interest in other males and losing sexual interest in females. How the juvenile male develops is determined by his exposure to ideas and activities much more than by his hormonal balance. Masculinity is more a product of socialization than of hormonal balance.
So let's raise our children to be good, strong men and women, by presenting male-male sexual interest as a perversion, not as a "choice".
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Posted by Zed, a resident of the Sylvan Park neighborhood, on Oct 24, 2009 at 7:28 am Finally someone with an actual argument. Well said.
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Posted by Paul, a resident of the Shoreline West neighborhood, on Oct 24, 2009 at 9:22 pm This is getting old. "Wo'O", just take your hateful [word removed] to another town already. It's not welcome here.
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Posted by Resident, a resident of the North Whisman neighborhood, on Oct 24, 2009 at 11:16 pm Mr. Ideafarm, would it be hard for you to envision yourself being gay?
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