Here Come the Holidays: Get Couple-Ready | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Mountain View Online |

Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

Here Come the Holidays: Get Couple-Ready

Uploaded: Oct 30, 2013
While this may be a time of family, love, thanks, giving, cheer, good food, and relaxing around the fireplace with good friends, it also may be a time of stress, high and/or differing expectations, extra activities, shopping, family drama, disappointment, and mixed signals.

This would be an especially good time to get on the same page with your beloved. As long as you two are connected then going through all-of-whatever-it-is-that-comes-next together, you will come out of it in January connected. And that is what we are all biologically wired to crave.

Connection, also called secure attachment or creating a "couple bubble" (as Stan Tatkin, Ph.D. terms it), consists of five parts: 1) giving attunement, which is a fancy word for listening and letting him/her know we heard and giving empathy about what we heard; 2) demonstrating that we have each other's back no matter what; 3) seeking comfort from each other; 4) seeking sex from each other; and 5) creating a home that is a haven from which to venture into the world for all of the other things we do in life.

The really short version of these five things: put each other first. Help each other feel safe and secure.

More to come on this topic.

We need your support now more than ever. Can we count on you?

Comments

There are no comments yet for this post

Follow this blogger.
Sign up to be notified of new posts by this blogger.

Email:

SUBMIT

Post a comment

Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

Stay informed.

Get the day's top headlines from Mountain View Online sent to your inbox.

Implications of Remote Work for Palo Alto
By Steve Levy | 3 comments | 3,683 views

Coping with a tragedy — without coddling ourselves
By Diana Diamond | 6 comments | 2,464 views

Cheez(steak) Whiz: A Philly transplant's guide to the Peninsula's best cheesesteaks
By The Peninsula Foodist | 4 comments | 2,363 views

 

Check out our latest awards

The Mountain View Voice was honored with eight awards in the print and digital categories in the annual California Journalism Awards competition, including second place for coverage of protests and racial justice. These awards are a tremendous affirmation of the quality of our reporting, photography, editing and design. Become a member today to support another year of award-winning journalism.

Read More