I Got Stood Up. RSV-Please!

Hi Laura,

Good luck, but if Mr. X bails on you, would you like to meet for a drink?

:-)

-A Single Guy

I have a bad feeling about this Mr. X. It's obviously a pseudonym. He's probably married.

You misspelled Mr. Ex

Laura, your column is hilarious.

Also, you're always light hearted, so I feel I'm doing a slight injustice to this column to make any criticism. Nonetheless:

You wrote: "it's not ok just to go to everyone else's parties and never reciprocate", where here reciprocation seems to involve organizing a social event.

I have a hard time with asserting myself socially. I used to avoid going to parties for exactly the reason you stated: I knew I wouldn't reciprocate, and I didn't want to be the awkward hanger on. But then I decided that I reciprocate in other nonsocial ways: I help my friends with computer stuff, for example. So now I (provisionally, at least) feel that it's ok that I never organize parties and such even though I go to them. I'm pretty sure my friends are ok with that.

Good one Armando!

Dear A Nerd,

I stand corrected - you are right. As long as we contribute to the dance of life in the way that is truly of us, the party continues. Life is a potluck. Bring our special dish and everyone feasts!

And to A Single Guy - I'll keep you posted!

I enjoy your column too, Laura, but I would like to take issue with one thing you wrote: "If someone is kind enough to forward an invitation..." Forwarding an invitation is the height of rudeness; just because you are invited doesn't mean that all your friends are invited too. I think you meant "If someone is kind enough to send you an invitation..."

Hi Laura,

Keep *all* of us posted! We wish the best for you!

That said, I think it would be fun if you and I met. I have a feeling that we might end up being friends regardless of what happens between you and Mr. X. I'll keep it nebulous and mysterious for the time being...

-ASG

Dear Elaine, Fixed! You are not alone - your comment reminded me immediately of a good friend of mine. :)

But note that there was a reason for only one failed meeting. He was lax on all three efforts to get together. As for the supposed medical reason let's see the note from the doctor.
This guy is not thoughtful.

You need to validate your gut feeling via crowdsourcing? You want us to reassure you that the decision you know you should be making is the correct one? Read the posts: the tribe has spoken. Even though X clearly has some appealing/intriguing qualities, if his excuses are so lame at this phase of the relationship, how uncreative would they be once you got to know him better? Save yourself the trouble, pull the plug now, and go have coffee/cold pressed juice with ASG.

Everyone should hold a party once a year so they understand just how difficult it is when people don't RSVP! I speak as a reformed bad RSVPer. Now I'm the first one to say yes-no or even maybe!

Thanks for the post!

Why did you give him THREE chances?

I think Mr. X deserves more chances. He clearly has crossed this bridge before, hence his name. If he does turn into Mr. Z (for zero), then maybe you\'ve been looking in all the wrong places?
The owner of the Milk Pail tells the story of his Danish cousin who sampled out cheeses and cashiered at the store years ago and and there was this one nice looking man that was a grad student and avid tennis player. Everyday this young man came in to buy a quart of milk to satisfy his thirst. Sometimes he would take a sample of cheese. Eventually he took the Danish cousin. Years later they now have a chateau in Switzerland, two kids and lots of fondue.
Being in the world of food, maybe Laura needs to spend more time near a cheese case?

Yes.....it's me, in the flesh. Mr. X. I make no excuses and indeed conceded to that in my email to our lovely host. I was wrong for not sending her some kind of notice immediately upon my demise. No I wasn't concussed or comatose nor were my hands crushed. I could make up something lame that would be beneath both of us but the truth is I was just plain bummed about what was going on and I let it affect everything. A downward spiral as it were that took everything in its path last week. My condition has rendered me officially on hiatus from any semblance of dating which obviously I'm not that great at anyway. Doesn't make me a bad man I don't think but it does expose me as somewhat selfish and brooding in this light which is never attractive. Agreed? The accompanying inverse of this is my normal M.O. which is I believe what brought us together in the first place and my sincere hope is that I can properly process this temporary lapse and redeem myself.......not in some grandiose, fluffy gesture.....but with simple and consistent courtesy. Oh and maybe something special because after all, we are talking about a very special girl who deserves far better treatment than she received last week.

Truly yours,


David (X)

These 22 million victims are waking up. Their eyes are coming open. They're beginning to see what they used to only look at. They're becoming politically mature. They are realizing that there are new political trends from coast to coast. As they see these new political trends, it's possible for them to see that every time there's an election the races are so close that they have to have a recount. They had to recount in Massachusetts to see who was going to be governor, it was so close. It was the same way in Rhode Island, in Minnesota, and in many other parts of the country. And the same with Kennedy and Nixon when they ran for president. It was so close they had to count all over again. Well, what does this mean? It means that when white people are evenly divided, and black people have a bloc of votes of their own, it is left up to them to determine who's going to sit in the White House and who's going to be in the dog house.

Untruly yours,



Malcolm (X)

To "The Original Mr. X"
Not vey original or smart to hijack a thread. Not a way to convince, or even lecture, a public. Also, no one is interested in your nonsense.

It was not a thread hijack. It was a humorous riff on Malcolm X v. David X.

So Laura, how do things stand now? David out of the dog house?

So he's not a "bad man" but she's a "very special girl." The ick factor is rising on this one. Lots of these X types around, guys who can present a charming facade and spin an articulate post but are otherwise unreliable and unworthy.

You can do better, Laura. I'd get a real dog before letting him out of the doghouse.

Everyone - I am enjoying your comments so! To Laura's Older Sister - I asked both of mine if they were you. Cheese Lover - thanks for the laugh! Codependent - I guess you picked that name for you cuz it's definitely not me. USA, ahhh, the question. I must admit - I NEVER expected, or even imagined Mr X to respond here. Mr X, you have earned points for creativity, plot building and the element of surprise! Besides USA, he fits perfectly into the Four Man Plan.

He cheatin' on you girl!

Four Man Plan? Do tell.

Ah, Google to the rescue: Web Link

I was imagining a four man rotation like pitchers in baseball.

No, my dear, my handle for you would be Smart Women, Foolish Choices. Too bad you have to learn the hard way, and in public no less!

Laura,

Unless someone is tied to the train tracks, dangling from a cliff, or in some truly dire situation, they should contact their date to cancel. Impolite behavior is boorish, and will not improve with time, I assure you. And I wasn't keen on that "a very special girl" bit. Not because you aren't (from the sound of you, anyway), but because it was overdoing it, and sounded a tad insincere.

Remember that book, "He's just not that into you" from a few years ago? This Mr. X, alas, might fall in that category. I prefer the sound of A Single Guy; why not give him a whirl? And please keep us posted!