What to do Without Devices? | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Mountain View Online |

Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

What to do Without Devices?

Uploaded: May 20, 2014
Dear Chandrama,
If we're off devices (including TV) in order to spend quality time together, what do we do?

Might Get Bored

Dear Might Get Bored,

I'm glad to hear you're ready to experiment with getting off devices to spend quality time together. (This is also extremely important for sleep health, as backlit devices tell our brains that it's daylight; in other words, time to be awake. Be sure to turn off devices two hours before you want to sleep.)

Three tips:

? Try changing your habit a couple of evenings a week at first to minimize withdrawal symptoms. I'm only half joking.

? Decide together what time you want to turn the devices off (7 or 8 PM?). A lot of people are working at night, either out of necessity, perceived necessity, to avoid one another, or out of habit. Hopefully needing to work at night is an intermittent requirement, not a way of life . . .

? Just notice when and/or what's going on that makes you want to go check something on your device. (Is it a "relationship" discussion? To check email one more time? An "important" text you're waiting for?) Notice how you feel when you don't go check. Or how you feel when you do check after you've agreed not to.

I will offer a few suggestions of quality time activities, and I hope many others will chime with what they do together:
? Have sex.
? Play scrabble.
? Go to a lecture.
? Go to a comedy club.
? Take a walk.
? Work out.
? Hang out on the couch.
? Discuss a topic.
? Sit in the hot tub.
? Plan a weekend get-away.
? Go on a date.
? Read a book or Kindle and play footsie.
? Give a back rub.
? Play cards.
? Listen to music in the dark.
? Reminisce about good times.
? Get out in nature.
? Do arts or crafts.
? Play music or sing.
? Sit out in the garden.
? Make up stories.
? Share hopes and dreams.
? Add your ideas . . .

What is it worth to you?


Posted by Steve, a resident of Shoreline West,
on May 20, 2014 at 1:28 pm

? Watch TV.

Posted by Jay Park, a resident of Jackson Park,
on May 20, 2014 at 5:17 pm


Actually, the person who sent in the question to Chandrama specifically mentioned that TVs were also a "device." No mention of radio though.

Anyhow, I suggest going to the ballpark and drinking beer.

Posted by Steve, a resident of Shoreline West,
on May 21, 2014 at 11:11 am

? Spy on neighbors.

Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Mountain View Online blogger,
on May 21, 2014 at 12:08 pm

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Thanks for the guffaw!

Posted by Garrett, a resident of another community,
on May 23, 2014 at 4:57 pm

Get to know the family and neighbors.

Follow this blogger.
Sign up to be notified of new posts by this blogger.



Post a comment

Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

Stay informed.

Get the day's top headlines from Mountain View Online sent to your inbox in the Express newsletter.

Holiday Fun in San Francisco- Take the Walking Tour for An Evening of Sparkle!
By Laura Stec | 8 comments | 3,314 views

Boichik Bagels is opening its newest – and largest – location in Santa Clara this week
By The Peninsula Foodist | 0 comments | 2,284 views

I Do I Don't: How to build a better marriage Ch. 1, page 1
By Chandrama Anderson | 0 comments | 1,389 views


Support local families in need

Your contribution to the Holiday Fund will go directly to nonprofits supporting local families and children in need. Last year, Voice readers and foundations contributed a total of $84,000.