By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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Ray Rice and Domestic Violence
Uploaded: Sep 9, 2014
There has been a great outrage and shock for people to see the video of Ray Rice slugging his then fiancé, now wife. We heard about it, but actually seeing it has been powerful to many people, changing their perspectives.
We see so much violence and destruction on TV and movies that we know is not real, and so it can be hard to imagine domestic violence.
Domestic violence happens everywhere, in every ethnicity, in every class. Men hit women and women hit men. Children are harmed.
People need help. Here's a list by county from Nextdoor Solutions
where they can get it.
There is a very good, thorough article by Allison Bressler about the cycle and progression of spousal abuse in called "Love and Murder in Suburbia: A True Story" in the September/October 2014 issue of Scientific American Mind
. You will need to buy or have a subscription to read the whole article.
The abuse and murder took place in an upscale suburban area. "No amount of wealth or privilege could protect her . . . the upscale town in which she lived made her situation particularly problematic," writes Bressler.
One detail: one in four women aged 18 to 49 and one in seven men have at some point experienced severe violence (by their partner), according to a 2010 survey by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control.
What is it worth to you?
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