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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

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Simple Joy

Uploaded: Dec 15, 2015
As I observe the Christmas holiday shopping craze from afar, I am seeking the simple joy of the season: Love.

People from most parts of the world celebrate the return of light around this time of year. We are an international community, and we are in a position to do a kindness for another. One kindness can lead to another.

We are nearly at winter solstice, and will be heading back into the light. What have we learned in this season of darkness? How will we be changed as we come again into the light?

What have you learned new about your partner or yourself? What have you revealed about yourself to your partner? Our vulnerability is also our savior in being known authentically.

Many of us wear masks; we may believe we are not lovable or our partner will leave us if s/he knew us truly.

I'm learning about my husband’s grief over his mom through the holidays: she would have come to hear the performance of the choir that he sings in. She would have been with us for tree decorating and dinner. She would have seen her grandsons. We would have shared our love with her in tangible ways.

I let my husband see my vulnerability about menopause, and the struggles that come with it. We have a history of breast cancer in my family, so I can't take hormones to “even things out.”

We've known each other since we were 16, and there are still new things to find out about each other.

If the holidays are primarily about returning to the light, love and peace, what would you be doing differently? Can you find one or two simple joyful things and pay attention to them? Breathe into the joy.

I’m noticing droplets of water causing the sun’s reflection to be so much brighter, the feel of water on my skin in the pool, tired muscles when I'm done, the smiles of people around me. I'm enjoying lit houses and trees, rainfall soaking our parched ground, holiday parties with singing, talk and laughter, my cat pawing at the water in our tree stand.

Saying and hearing, “I love you.”

Find a kindness to do for someone.

Simple joy.
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