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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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I Need Your Help Naming my New Book

Uploaded: Apr 13, 2017
Hey, wonderful readers,

A 52 year-old heroine stars in the romance novel I’ve started. Caroline is a psychologically sophisticated woman. She’s VP of business development at a downtown Palo Alto company and mother of two college age kids. Her friends encourage her to put a profile on Match.

She finds a wonderful man and falls for him. They will find ways to overcome their internal fears of intimacy in mid-life. A rupture of some kind will occur (still figuring that out). After recovering from that, they will be madly in love.

In our culture, women become invisible as we get older. We’re still interested in sex and intimacy! We also become more focused, less willing to put up with BS, and many have the time to make a difference in the community.

As a couple therapist, part of my goal in writing this book is to highlight that it’s quite possible both mid-life spouses are still interested in sex, even if their sex life is limited or practically dead. A sex life can be reignited within a marriage. Maybe they don’t know how to talk about it, or it’s a taboo topic for them. Perhaps by talking things through, some men won’t leave a long-term wife for a younger woman once he realizes his wife is still interested in sex (sorry for the generalization, but we’ve all heard many stories).

I’ve told my 20 year-old son that the book will have hot, steamy sex, and his reply was, “I won’t read it.” My reply was, “Got it. You’ve been forewarned!” We had a tremendous laugh.

I’ll keep you up to date on my progress, and share snippets now and then.

Please post lots of book title ideas!

Thank you very much.

Comments

 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Reader, a resident of another community,
on Apr 13, 2017 at 12:19 pm

Love Story 2.0

;-)


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Mountain View Online blogger,
on Apr 13, 2017 at 2:39 pm

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Back atcha


 +  Like this comment
Posted by RW, a resident of another community,
on Apr 13, 2017 at 10:14 pm

What about something that plays on the idea of "Women, like wine, get better with age". Or, since she goes on Match.com a play on pairing. Like, "Perfect pairing". Make the sex realistic, include lube. =)


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Mountain View Online blogger,
on Apr 14, 2017 at 8:30 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

I like your thinking, RW. Wine and lube are in there! :-) Thanks for the ideas.


 +   2 people like this
Posted by Millie, a resident of Mayfield,
on Apr 14, 2017 at 5:35 pm

Suggested title for book:
Wanting You In Midlife Too


 +   2 people like this
Posted by A.M., a resident of Menlo Park: other,
on Apr 14, 2017 at 8:33 pm

Some ideas:

"The Tracks by the Trees" (Tracks - CalTrain (resembling time and the view of life-the Trees)) Often we get so caught up with point A and point B, that there are amazing parts of life, and life itself that live freely regardless of age and we forget that they matter. The trees could also be the Palm Trees.

"Waiting on Ramona" - Their match.com meeting could take place at the cafe, "Coupa Cafe"...

"Spinning my Bottle of Time"

"Glances and Murmurs"

"Still Carrying My Washing Machine" - referencing the famous sculpture at Cafe Riace - where the couple meet from the their match.com rendezvous ... of course "Washing Machine" references something else, too.

What do you think?


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Mountain View Online blogger,
on Apr 15, 2017 at 8:58 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Millie and A.M., Thanks for the great ideas. Keep 'em coming!


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by JFleming, a resident of another community,
on Apr 16, 2017 at 4:58 pm

"All I Know Is, ..."

Best of luck, from this former resident of Menlo Park.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Kate, a resident of Old Mountain View,
on Apr 17, 2017 at 10:32 pm

Thanking you for a nice post.


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Joy, a resident of Barron Park,
on Apr 18, 2017 at 1:54 am

I have just been thinking that middle-aged women, and what we actually look like mostly, seen in a positive way, is utterly absent from media portrayals. This probably contributed to Clinton's loss as much as anything, middle aged women are invisible. I realized recently that not only do people not see me, when they do, they confuse me with all other middle-aged women with my hair color, even wildly taller or shorter women.

Not sure I have enough info, but

The Invisible Woman and Love
(dual meaning, about the main character middle-aged woman and a general description)

Invisibella
(referring to invisibility of middle aged women and bella feminizing the word invisible, perhaps even referring to a character name).

Scary Caroline
(after a rightwing relative called Nancy Pelosi scary, I consiser it a compliment

All the best in finishing!


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Mountain View Online blogger,
on Apr 18, 2017 at 8:30 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Hi JFleming and Joy,

Thanks so much for your ideas and thought put into it. The writing is going very well, so having you thinking of a title helps--one less thing to think about right now!


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Clunge, a resident of another community,
on Apr 18, 2017 at 9:12 am

Second Spring - positive outlook on the second awakening of a woman's sexuality. I find that women later in life - their sexual peak, is much more gratifying for them as they can control and guide what feels good without the worry of stigma.


 +   2 people like this
Posted by Nayeli, a resident of Midtown,
on Apr 20, 2017 at 12:14 am

The Second Chance Algorithm - Describing a potential second chance at finding true love via an internet dating algorithm. It could also be a "Middle Life Algorithm" or something like it.

A Second Chance for a First Love - Same as above...but dropping the "algorithm" for a description of the type of love you're seeking. Could also be "A Second Chance for Finding a First Love."

Rejoining the Game of Love in the Third Quarter - The "third quarter" is reference to the ages of 50-75. Could simply be "The Third Quarter."

The Third Quarter Algorithm - A little bit of everything above.

How to Find Love When Your Inbox if Full - Match.com?

Second Chance for a First Impression - A play on the old English idiom.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Mountain View Online blogger,
on Apr 20, 2017 at 8:08 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Hey Clunge and Nayeli,

Thanks for your ideas. Keep 'em coming.



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