By Chandrama Anderson
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About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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You know that narrator in your head that just won't shut up? Richard Carson calls it your "Gremlin." This book is a long-standing favorite of mine; I've met many Gremlins, my own and my client's. Taming Your Gremlin is a quick read, filled with drawings of a variety of Gremlin types such as "The General," "Big Ugly," or "The Artist."
Our Gremlin rarely leaves us alone to just notice what's going on without judgement, and is drowning out our Authentic Self that wants and needs to be in the world.
Noticing, and Choosing and Playing with Options are major sections of this book after the Gremlins are described. Exercises will help clarify Gremlin habits so we can notice them more, and strategies are offered to tame our Gremlin.Using humor and simple options, Carson provides an ongoing process to quiet Gremlins and enjoy life.
Would you agree that Gremlins are active in your couple relationship? Once you identify and start taming your own Gremlin, you can begin to notice the interpersonal Gremlins that are busily interfering with connection and intimacy between you.