Take away the words you speak and put in "Blah, blah, blah".
How and where you stand, how you use your body.
How much "air-time" you each use.
How you listen.
How you respond to what is actually spoken (vs. waiting to talk or going on to another topic without responding to what is said).
How you would feel as each of the partners as you notice the above list.
Perhaps you find it a little intimidating to see how early our communication patterns are set. But don't worry, we now know that brain functioning and neural patterns can change throughout our lifetime: we can change. Yes, of course it is work. And you actually have to want to change!
Change is scary for many of us. It's common for people to keep doing the same things until the pain of not changing outweighs the fear of change. That's often when people come to therapy. Please don't wait until you are in tremendous pain. Treat yourself and your partner as well (or better) than you treat your car. Get a tune-up before you break down at the side of the road.