Premarital and Couples: Marriage Maintenance | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Mountain View Online |

Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

Premarital and Couples: Marriage Maintenance

Uploaded: Jul 26, 2019
According to research by Dr. John Gottman, who runs the "Love Lab" in Seattle, most couples wait an average of six years from the time they sense issues in their relationship before they seek help! Yikes! Who would wait that long before taking their car in to the shop?

By the time couples get to marriage counseling there are three basic scenarios:

1. Both people want to stay in the marriage and work through their issues.
2. One or both partners are not sure whether they want to stay together.
3. One person wants a "safe" place to tell their partner the marriage is over.

The question truly is not "if" you need couples therapy, but "when." Life has a way of throwing you curveballs. If you've been practicing dealing with them together, you stand a much better chance of staying together, happily.

Good marriage counseling can be for working out deeply seated problems, to going in for a tune-up or "detailing," or for anything in between. What are the top things couples struggle with? Sex, money and power.

Having an existing relationship with a marriage counselor is a good idea so you know who to call when you need one. For your sake, for your partner's sake (and your kids if you have any), please take care of your marriage before its muffler is dragging.

There are some great books for marriage maintenance, too. You can see the list on my website: www.connect2.us.com
What is community worth to you?
Support local journalism.

Comments

 +  Like this comment
Posted by freddie2789, a resident of Country Fair,
on Aug 16, 2019 at 5:03 am

freddie2789 is a registered user.

Maintaining marriage is most difficult when both are not compromising to each other's stuff, conversations etc. Making love is the most important thing in life of couples as the bond becomes stronger and stronger when they feel each other.


To post your comment, please login or register at the top of the page. This topic is only for those who have signed up to participate by providing their email address and establishing a screen name.

Stay informed

Get daily headlines sent straight to your inbox.

After 39 years of cakes and pastries, Palo Alto institution Prolific Oven to close
By Elena Kadvany | 55 comments | 16,446 views

What is your climate personality?
By Sherry Listgarten | 35 comments | 1,898 views

The Regional Housing Needs Allocation (RHNA) Process Explained
By Steve Levy | 5 comments | 1,205 views

"You Gotta Have Balls [to do counseling] . . .
By Chandrama Anderson | 0 comments | 861 views

 

Early Bird rates end today!

On Friday, October 11, join us at the Palo Alto Baylands for a 5K walk, 5K run, 10K run or half marathon! All proceeds benefit local nonprofits serving children and families. Early Bird prices end Sun, Aug 18.

Register now