Gay love continues amid national debate Gay love continues amid national debate (July 23, 2004)

Local couple met 25 years ago, married in February

By Julie O'Shea

Same-sex couples were handed a victory last week when the debate over placing a constitutional ban on gay marriages failed to gain enough support from the U.S. Senate.

The seemingly good news, however, received only a lukewarm reception from Ann Benson and Iris Harrell.

The Mountain View business owners who have been a couple since 1979 fear the battle over gay marriage rights is far from over. Still, both are hopeful that a peaceful resolution to the decades-long debate over gay rights will come in their lifetime.

"We are talking about a civil right," Benson said. "For most people, (marriage vows are) a promise. For us, (the vows are) like a summary of our lives."

After 25 years together, the Portola Valley couple, both 57, were finally married at San Francisco City Hall on Feb. 15. The picture on their wedding announcement shows the smiling couple in matching black-brimmed hats, Harrell grasping their marriage certificate and Benson holding two yellow roses.

"We are hoping our marriage will be legalized before we die," Harrell said. "I'm expecting this to be a non-issue in the next 25 years in this country."

But for now, all they can do is sit and wait, and see how things play out in courtrooms across the nation.

Critics "think it's a moral issue. What is immoral about being faithful to the person we love?" Harrell said. "God is not judgmental like that -- not my God. Maybe their God."

The story of Harrell and Benson, the driving forces behind the Harrell Remodeling company on Old Middlefield Way, began on a warm spring night in Dallas more than 25 years ago.

The two were at an event sponsored by the National Organization for Women (NOW) when Harrell spotted Benson from across the crowd and made a beeline for her.

Benson, an experienced guitar player, had played a few numbers during the evening event, and Harrell, a singer, went over to congratulate her on a fine performance. She also asked the six-foot-tall Benson if she'd consider playing with her at the next NOW event.

Benson agreed, and very quickly, a romance blossomed. The women moved in together two weeks later, but it took until two months before they promised before friends and family that they would be partners for life.

"I'm a love-at-first-sight kind of girl," Harrell said, smiling over at Benson seated next to her in a conference room of their Mountain View office.

Benson, on the other hand, remembered being a little more wary of the enthusiastic Harrell.

"I thought she was really beautiful, but I thought she was a straight woman who had wandered into a lesbian event," Benson said with a slight chuckle.

Harrell smiled.

"It sounds like a long time, but it doesn't feel like a long time," Benson said.

Harrell added: "It's only a long time if you don't enjoy the ride."

E-mail Julie O'Shea at joshea@mv-voice.com

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