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Nearly a dozen teens from Palo Alto said stress in their lives comes from trying to meet the expectations of peers, family, school and getting into college.
The teens appeared on television’s “Dr. Phil” show on Friday, March 12.
The show did not specifically name Palo Alto. Dr. Phil interviewer Hill Harper, who had pre-taped the discussion with teens earlier in the week, said he was in Northern California “in an area where there have been a number of deaths by suicide” to talk with teens about what’s going on in their lives.
Palo Alto city and school officials had urged the show’s producers not to mention Palo Alto or the cause of death in the suicides.
In the discussion about stress, 18-year-old Michaela told Harper, “You have all these classes, all this homework, and then your parents.
“They try not to pressure you, but they have all these high hopes and dreams for you, and you feel that on your shoulders.”
Vanessa, 16, said the pressure “comes from my friends. All of us are really competitive with each other.”
Sahela, 15, said, “You see people who take five more AP classes than you do or have five more extracurricular activities than you do and then you feel like, ‘Am I doing enough?'”
“Everyone knows (suicide) is a problem, but no one really talks about it,” Amy, 18, said when asked whether enough information is available for students who feel trapped.
“We all know people who have either, like, thought about suicide or actually had suicide and, like, parents know about it, society knows about it, but no one, like, actually goes into details and, like, talks about it with other people, so I think people feel like they’re going to get judged.”
“These kinds of talks let people know that there are other kids out there who feel the same way and that we need to, like, let it out,” Shireen, 16, said.
Asked whether teens feel isolated, 18-year-old Isaiah said, “I think being a teenager is a lot harder than it was before because not only are you competing with people around your city, around the nation, to go to these name brand schools, but you’re also competing with cats from around the world.”
Added 16-year-old Jonathan, “You see people who are successful and they say, ‘Oh, I went to Stanford, I went to Harvard,’ and you kind of like make the connection, like, ‘You go to this school, then you’re successful in life.'”
Earlier, Harper asked a small group of “Northern California” parents whether they were the source of their children’s stress.
“It’s not the parents,” one mother said. “These kids are overtaxed, stressed and need to have each other to talk to, to have a forum to speak so adults hear what’s going on in their lives so we can better support them.”
In other interviews on the same Dr. Phil segment, called “Teens Under Pressure,” Dr. Phil discussed “the alarming rise” in teen suicides nationwide, and spoke with mothers of two east coast girls who said they fear their daughters – grief stricken over the suicides of their friends – may take their own lives. At the end of the show, Dr. Phil promised the women he would arrange for psychiatric help for the girls.
By Palo Alto Weekly staff
By Palo Alto Weekly staff
By Palo Alto Weekly staff
The Mountain View High School PTSA is organizing ParentEd workshops, informational evenings etc. to create more awareness. The following events are coming up:
Parent Education Event, Thursday, March 25th 6:30pm – 8:30pm, 6Dr. Ginsburg: Building Resilience in Children and Teens:
Spagenberg Theatre, Gunn High School, 780 Arastardero Road, Palo Alto
Admission is FREE, No RSVP, Please carpool and arrive early.
3 Hour Workshop “Resilience Building Strategies for Our Youth” Saturday, March 27th 8:30am – 11:30am Target audience: Educators, counselors and health professionals. Parents welcome.
Los Altos United Methodist Church, 655 Magdalena Ave, Los Altos
Admission is FREE, Reservation required: http://ginsburgworkshoplamvpausd.eventbrite.com/
Viewing of the documentary “Race to Nowhere” May 13, 7PM at Foothill College, Los Altos. (www.racetonowhere.com. Race to Nowhere is a documentary film examining the pressures faced by youth, teachers and parents in our achievement obsessed education system and culture. Featuring the heartbreaking stories of young people who have been pushed to the brink, educators who are burned out and worried students aren’t developing the skills needed, and parents who are trying to do what’s best for their kids, Race to Nowhere points to the silent epidemic running rampant in our schools
Please email me if you have any questions: ankyvandeursen@hotmail.com
I think we have to use technology and the internet to make it easier for any kid with the desire to attend any college he wants. This competition for limited higher education resources is crazy.
Well, it’s interesting that the kids and Dr. Phil didn’t mention the schools themselves. Why is ANY child takign 5 AP classes? Aren’t there any counselors anymore? Doesn’t someone at the school have to sign and approve the schedule? That simply would not have been possible 15 or 20 years ago; not that many AP classes even existed!! The stress is coming from the lack of hours in the day to do all the things the kids are “set up” to do. You can blame them, or the parents, and/or the schools. It’s the combination of all of the above. However the schools need to take a hard look at what they allow in their classrooms; too many emotionally fragile children are over-burdening themselves with honors and AP classes which will NOT get them into Stanford and Harvard because, let’s face it, only one or two kids per year from Gunn or Paly or MVHS or whatever even GETS into that one school. So, let’s be real and say, “what do you need to get into the school which fits your needs and expectations?”
These kids DO feel like they are competing with nameless, faceless drones across the country, trying to get that one Stanford spot. A responsible adult, whether it be a parent or teacher or mentor, needs to step in and tell the kid what their level of expectations and achievements SHOULD be for their emotional and physical well-being.