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When Palo Alto resident Miriam Kurtzig Freedman tells people she has written a book about her mother, Thea Arons, she’s often confronted with the question, “So who was she?”
Well, Thea was not a celebrity by any stretch. “Boxes from the Attic: An Immigrant’s Story,” a memoir Freedman has co-authored with Susan Wolfe, belongs in the archives of social history, for it tells the story of an ordinary woman whose life unfolded alongside the extraordinary horrors of 20th century, some of which affected her family directly.
Thea, who was born in 1909, belonged to a Jewish family in Holland and migrated twice in her lifetime; first, to what was then Palestine to pursue her dreams, horticulturally and later romantically, and then to the United States when reality hit hard. She experienced life on three continents and picked up five languages — French, German, Dutch, Hebrew and English — along the way.
Thea spent the last 16 years of her life in Channing House, Palo Alto, where she died in 2006 at the age of 96.
“She didn’t cure cancer, she didn’t run for president … she was just a person, an ordinary person,” said Freedman in an interview with the Weekly. “Most of us are ordinary. And to me it’s very important for ordinary people to realize the greatness of their own lives. We all have our own stories.”
Freedman, a lawyer and educator, has written extensively in these fields in the past. This memoir is her first literary undertaking of its kind.
Why did she decide to tell her mother’s story? The answer couldn’t be simpler. “This is a woman who knew what she wanted, and she wanted her story told,” Freedman said. In writing this book, she has fulfilled her mother’s wish.
The author found the raw material, as well as the title, for her book in the attic of her house in Newton, Massachusetts, where she lived before moving to Palo Alto, her home for the last 12 years.
“My mother wanted her story told, which is why she left all these papers, all these diaries, all these notes,” she said. “I think her writing was her therapy, actually; she said her diary was her best friend.”
During the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown, Freedman found the time to unpack and organize her mother’s notes and glean a timeline for the significant events in her life, which formed the “backbone” of what eventually became the book.
She writes with affection but also retains a sense of objectivity while telling her mother’s story, often referring to herself in the third person. She was intentional about keeping a safe editorial distance between herself and the subject, and consciously avoided lacing the anecdotes with her own thoughts and feelings. “I tried very hard that when I was injecting my view or my memory, it would be a footnote …” as opposed to a part of the main story, she said.
The book is both timeless and timely, not least because “immigrant” remains a loaded word today, just like it was during Thea’s time. “The moment we walked on that pier in Hoboken, New Jersey, my mother said, ‘Now we speak English’,” said Freedman, fondly recalling her mother’s insistence on speaking the language of the land.
Freedman was 9 years old when she arrived on American shores in 1951. She marvels at her mother’s courage as she looks back on the time Thea practically escaped from the Middle East and came to this country with her children. Back then, the newly founded state of Israel was riddled with political unrest and the government was disinclined to let people leave, especially families with children. With two little kids in tow, a determined Thea stood up to the border control authorities and managed to leave the country.
“She was someone who directed her own life, never the victim, always in charge. Even when things were terrible, she figured it out … How do you have a woman, 39 years old, two little kids, no money, in this village (Haifa) in what is now Israel, saying ‘I’m not staying here, I’m going to go to America’ — how do you do that?” Freedman said, pointing out that similar stories of courage are all around us. “And half the people walking around this city — that’s what they did. It’s very, very, very courageous to lift yourself up and go look for something that you think might be better for you.”
The process of writing the book has brought her closer to her mother’s memory and also has given her insight into herself. “I do feel more comfortable in my own skin,” she said. “I’m proud of who she was and who she helped me become. I really believe in the importance of family, honesty, hope, resilience, flexibility, honesty, courage … all the things she showed.”
Freedman is thrilled that book clubs, both local and beyond, have discovered her memoir. Many readers have told her that reading Thea’s story has helped them empathize with their own grandparents, who immigrated to the country at different points in history.
She believes it resonates with people at a basic, human level. “We all have mothers, we all have stories, many of them are immigrant stories, and then we all have memories. It’s a wonderful book for the very reason she’s not famous,” she said, urging readers to open the boxes in their own attics.
For more information about “Boxes From the Attic,” visit miriamkfreedman.com.
